Marriage Catechumenate Information

Congratulations on your engagement and your decision to marry in the Catholic Church! We are grateful you have considered celebrating your wedding at St. Mary and look forward to accompanying you during this period of formation.

Marriage formation in the Catholic Church requires 9 to 12 months. The purpose for this period of formation within the Parish community is to assist you in evaluating your readiness to live the marital vocation, which Christ elevated to a Sacrament. The period of formation is not intended to teach you how to be married. Instead, it is meant to help you better understand yourselves, as well as your commitment to living the marital vocation, with Christ as the foundation of your union. As the special bond between man and woman, marriage mirrors God’s Divine Love, so this period of formation requires time and reflection to fully appreciate its sacred and life-giving character. As a parish, we are committed to accompanying you through this period of formation because as a couple, you are incredibly important to the life of the church and to society.

To assist you in preparing for the Sacrament of Matrimony and making the best possible decisions regarding your liturgical celebration, the Church provides guidelines and instructions. These  guidelines follow the norms that have been established through the Roman Catholic Diocese of San Diego and will be given to you as we accompany you through each phase and stage of the Marriage Catechumenate.

“Spouses are therefore the permanent reminder to the Church of what happened on the Cross; they are for one another and for the children witnesses to the salvation in which the sacrament makes them sharers.” (Familiaris Consortio, Section 13)

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The Marriage Catechumenate

A catechumenate is a process that serves as a journey to know and understand God’s love as it is revealed through his Son, Jesus Christ. The catechumenal process is a spiritual journey toward specific goals, accompanied by a pastoral team, sponsors, and the parish community. The entire experience is designed to lead people to discover their unique Christian vocation while they deepen their spiritual lives.

The Marriage Catechumenate was proposed by St. Pope John Paul II in his apostolic exhortation called Familaris Consortio when he stated that “adequate catechesis, as in a catechumenal process…is absolutely necessary in order that the sacrament [of matrimony] may be celebrated and lived with the right moral and spiritual dispositions” (sec. 64). Pope Francis echoed the need for marriage formation to mirror a catechumenal process when he emphasized the “need to involve the entire community more extensively by stressing the witness of families themselves and by grounding marriage preparation in the process of Christian initiation” (Amoris Laetitia, sec. 206). In 2022 the Dicastery of Laity and Family Life Published the Catechumenal Pathways for Married Life, encouraging a marriage Catechumenate that is inspired by the baptismal catechumenate with phases, sponsors, and rites of passage to help couples celebrate the Sacrament of Marriage with greater awareness.

The Marriage Catechumenate at St. Mary is a formation process that draws on each of these documents to create a personalized approach to marriage formation so each couple can grow together, deepen their understanding of marriage as a sacrament, enrich their faith, and prepare themselves to welcome the goods of the Sacrament of Matrimony, while being accompanied and supported by the Parish community.

Process and procedures

While there are certain requirements and documents that must be completed as part of the Marriage Catechumenate, please be aware that the Catechumenate is not a to-do list of requirements. Instead, the Marriage Catechumenate is a period of growth during which each couple should grow together, learn about one another, strengthen their relationship, and enrich their independent and mutual relationships with Christ. A strong relationship with Christ and a bond with intimate communication creates the foundation for greater marital stability. 

The Marriage Catechumenate will be personalized to the extent possible. It includes phases with rites of passage. The steps in each phase may co-occur depending on each couple’s personalized timeline and needs. The primary steps include:

1)     Initial meeting with the Pastor and the Marriage and Family Life Coordinator (MFLC)

During this meeting, you will complete the Prenuptial Examination and discuss your needs as a couple with the Pastor so a personalized catechumenate can be created for you.

2)     Meeting the MFLC

During this meeting, you will discuss your personal Marriage Catechumenate and learn your next steps.

3)     Take the FOCCUS Inventory

The FOCCUS (Facilitate Open Caring Communication Understanding & Study) Inventory is a personalized skills inventory that is intended to show patterns of strengths and areas within the relationship that may need attention prior to your wedding.

Note: If you have been civilly married for three years or more, you will take an alternate version of the FOCCUS inventory specially designed for couples who are civilly married and are seeking to be sacramentally married within the Church.

After taking the inventory, you will meet, as a couple, with the MFLC for a series of meetings to guide discussions based on the outcome of your FOCCUS inventory.

4)     Choose a Sponsor Couple

As a couple, choose a married couple to sponsor you through your Marriage Catechumenate. After you have selected your sponsor couple, attend an orientation and begin your monthly meetings and activities with your sponsor couple.

After the orientation, please plan a 6-month period to meet with your sponsor couple.

5)     Take the Orbit of Love Pre-Cana Series

The Orbit of Love Pre-Cana series was developed specifically for couples in the Marriage Catechumenate at St. Mary. It is a 9-week series of courses that addresses the theological foundations of marriage as well as practical relationship skills.

6)     Take a Natural Family Planning (NFP) course

After learning about NFP and the different instructional methods, choose the right method for your family planning needs. Complete a course either in the community or online.

7)     Plan your Wedding Liturgy

Meet with the MFLC, for a series of meetings to plan your wedding liturgy. Although you are the ministers of your own wedding and your liturgy is personalized, your nuptial ceremony is also a public event in the life of the Church. As such, it must follow specific guidelines and procedures, which will be given and explained to you throughout your catechumenate.

8)     Receive the Sacrament of Penance prior to your Wedding Day

The celebration of the Sacrament of Penance, or Reconciliation (Confession) is highly recommended for Catholic parties throughout the Marriage Catechumenate as part of your spiritual preparation. It is required the week of your wedding so you are in a state of grace on the day of your nuptial celebration.

9)     Stay connected

You are a valued part of the St. Mary Community! Please stay connected with your sponsors, the pastoral staff, and the parish community. We encourage your involvement at Masses, events, and ministries.